Fanfiction Chronicles
by StardustNyako
Summary: Everyone passes on to a new afterlife, Yuri discovers FanFiction DOT net, and, well, all hell ensues as they read fanfiction written by the fandom of this world . . .No real fanfics are used!
1. Sekine and the Lemon

**I looked at a fanfic i did for a different anime and decided to do an Angel Beats version ~ No reaal fanfics shall be used in this fic. **

Otonashi Yuzuru woke up with a smile on his face, recalling the ultimate sense of peace he'd just felt.

"I finally understood why I was in that Afterlife, I even fell in love with someone. I want people to enjoy this kind of peace that everyone in the battlefront felt. that's why i'm stay-" Otonashi began

"You passed on" a voice cut in. Otonashi located the source of the soothing voice to see the his most precious treasure, now wearing a battlefront uniform.

"Ka-Kanade!" Otonashi yelled, the girl smiled and knelt down to give him a big hug, followed by pulling him up from his previous sitting posistion. They were in a dark room with small light puddles in neat rows. otonashi recognized these puddles as computers. behind them groups of the battlefront were doing different things.

"We're in, a computer lab?" Otonashi asked, mentally coming to terms with thefact that his soul had already found peace, so he couldn'y stay and help anyone in the Afterlife.

"Correct." Naoi confirmed, walking closer to the couple with a big smile. "Glad that we could meet up again, Otonashi!"naoi said with his usual eagerness. " Ehem, for some reason, we are now in a computer lab liek setting, with full accessto the internet of the real world."

"That's kinda odd." Otonashi replied.

"Eh, I don't think anyone here really minds though." Naoi replied, Otonashi then noticed how loud the room was. "It would seem hardly anyone in the Battlefront has had much experience on the internet, so now their looking around, exploring it. Otonashi decided to look around and see what everyone wasdoing. He first aproached TK and Matsushita who were watching some show.

"What are you watching?" Otonashi asked the duo,

"Breaking Bad" Matsushita replied, his eyes never leaving the screen. 'It's epic." Otonashi nodded with a smile "TK is translating for me, so I'm learning some English too!" the black belt added. Hearing drums being played, Otonashi then walked over to where Shiina sat she was playing a taiko game on the internet.

"Having fun Shiina?" the ninja looked up and nodded vigorously.

"It's cute and I love taiko!" she said in a normal level of voice. Otonashi chuckled at the change of character then moved on, he saw Yusa and Takeyama doing, something questionable looking.

"Ok,what are you two doing?" he asked

"Trying to hack into the CIA database" Takeyama replied. Otonashi face palmed, before moving on, he saw Takamatsu was researching weight lifting, Ooyama was playing a game called Akinator, and Chaa was watching Wolves Rain,because they too, were searching for Paradise. He saw Fujimaki and Hisako were playing Mah Jong online against other people.

"Are those people from the real world?" Otonashi asked.

"Who knows." Fujimaki replied.

"Look, I don't know what a Tumblr, is but if you three don't stop freaking out about it Imma killl your computer" Hisako yelled at her three younger bandmates who blushed but nodded solemnly, giving their best effort to turn the noise down.

"Hey Yui! Nagato is batting again!" Hinata yellded, Yui ran from the tumblr party to Hinata's computer to watch the baseball game going on ,they unconciously grabbed eachother's hand, Otonashi smiled at this.

"I'm a bit envious of them . . ." Iwasawa said in a calm joking voice from behind Otonashi.

"Hey! Long time no see Iwasawa,What are you doing?" Otonashi asked casually.

"Listening to bands on something called Sound Cloud, Really geting into these Indie groups." she said enthusiastically.

"Don't be jealous Masami, you could do better" Hisako said calmly, Hinata cocked an eye brow at the side guitarist. Otonashi laughed lightly at this exchange. He saw Noda was watching Shingeki no Kyoujin, becoming very excitedin the process.

"YEAH ERIN, YOU KICK THAT MOE TITAN'S ASS!" he ye;;ed, then pointed his halberd at the computer which destryed the screen, and his weapon." DAMN IT!" he yelled.

"Yo Yuzuru!" Yuri's head popped out from the computer next to Iwasawa' beckoned the red head behind the computer, the redhead complied then saw next to Yuri's computer was a computer occupied by a few ten year olds.

"The ones standing are my siblings" Yuri whispered with enough happiness to make Otonasshi crack a smile

"Whoo, you can do it Hatsune!" one said, Otonashi's jaw dropped a bit.

"Just a little more!" another child said

"Look it's a high score!" a voice yelled that made Yuzuru's heart skip a beat. He began shaking, wondering, "Could it really be?" Relief and joy were already surging in him like a took the strength from his legs, Otonaashi fell to his knees as he weeped in joy.

"Onii-chan?" the voice was now in front of his face as she whispered his name. Yuzuru looked up and saw his dear little sister kneeling in front of him, a smile taking over her face. hatsune took a deep breath "When Masami-nee entered this place, she said that you had amnesia, you forgot about everything. W-was that my fault? Was it because I left you?" Yuzuru's eyes widened. Was it? He'd never figured out why he'd forgotten everything.

'"It was my fault" Kanade said from behind Yuzuru. "When your brother died, he signed his donor card, giving me his heart. I regretted that I could not thank him for it. in order for me to get the chance to do this, Yuzuru enteredthe world without memories because if he became aware of his life before dying, he'd find he had no regret and would have passed on." Yuzuru grabbed his sister into a loving embrace

"I never regretted having been with you. Yu gave my life purpose even after you died. you're the reason I wanted to become a doctor. your happiness, and the memories we shared is what kept me alive." At this point they were both crying, Hatsune clutched her brother's jacket tightly.

"We, we don't have to leave each other again do we?" Hatsune whispered, Yuzuru shook his head.

"Nah, we're gonna stay with everyone" he replied gently. They eventually let go. "What the heck is this?!" Yuri suddenly yelled, everyone looked at her confused.

'This, website, has stories, about everyone in the battlefront. Wait, who are Sekine and Irie?" Irie face palmed, Sekine jumped to Yuri's computer.

"I wanna read stories about us!"

"Oh, it's you" Yuri blinked.

"This is interesting, let's have a look at these stories, about how I rule over you inbiciles, except Otonashi, as your God" Naoi declares Yuri nods

"Alright then, everyone, grab a computer and go to this fanfiction site. each of you must ind an interesting story from this stack of stories called Angel Beats, and let's see what kind of stories these people have made! OPERATION CAMPFIRE STORY, START!

Everyone rushes to a computer and looks for a fanfic to read.

"H-Hey everyone!I found my contribution to the mission! This looks like anawesome story!" Sekine yelled, everyone rolls on their computer chairs over to her computer. Hisako grimances when she sees the title.

"This is definetly not going to be awesome." she mumbled.

"Ah. whatever," Yuri waved, "Let's just check out these stories, see what these people know about us. Please begin reading this story!'

"OK!" Sekine chimed

**Sekine's Ultimate Prank**

**By:HennekoWithAPlanet**

**Summary: Sekine pulls a huge prank, which teaches Yui a very important lesson, LEMON! No Yuri, R&R~!**

"Why are they emphasizinng that I'm not in this?" The battlefront leader asks.

"Well if Yui learns something, this can't be all that bad." Hisako smirked, the mentioned pinkette glared at her sempai.

**A month had passed since that horribly hilarious Girls DeMo performance with Yuri and Shiina**

Iwasawa and Hisako groaned automatically at this. Shiina looked down an aura of self disappointment surrounding her, Yuri face palmed.

"What's this about?" Irie asked, facing Iwasawa who sheepishly waved her hand.

'Don't, don't worry about it, it was just really horribe" she said.

**Yui ran down the hall wagging her tail, going "nyan" like an idiot**

"You wanna say that again sekine?1" the pinkette fumed.

"umm, Yui, these people said that, not me." Sekine replied calmly

**Tenshi told her to go to class. Yui stuck up her middle finger at the student body president and said "Hell nah nigga"**

"Well" Kanade huffed

"Whoa, whoa whoa, Since when did Yui become some simple minded rebellious teen from the ghetto?" Fujimaki asked. Yui wasgasping for air, mentaly panicking

**Tenshi then put shackles on Yui's wrists "Detention for you" she said. Yui pulled out a pistol and pointed it at Kanade with alotta hate in her eyes. "Go to hell" she whispered.**

" This Yui, is all over the place" Yussa mumbled.

**Tenshi ran away like a pussy.**

"These people" Kanade said slowly,"are not nice."

**Yui used the gun to shoot the shackles. the handcuffs were still on her wrists but her hands were free. On Yui'a back was a guitar she stole from the guild**

"Which hadn't been established yet . .." Chaa interjected

**She was gonna ask Sekine-dono**

"Waa, Yui" Sekine gasped,"I didn't know you regardedme so highly" the bassist gushed, the Pinkette, who had been in a trance of shock and fear from the previous facts shared, shook her head.

"I would use that with Iwasawa but not you, your still Sekine-tan"

**to teach her to play guitar, but first, she was gonna steal Noda's hallberd because some NPC wanted it**

Noda glared at Yui who was once again in comeplete shock.

"I can still strangle people you kno" Noda threatened.

**Then she found Sekine and Irie walking down the hall going in the opposite direction.**

Iriegroaned.

"I'm involved in this, too?" she whined.

**"Sekine-dono" Yui telled, "Irie too!"**

**"Aye, wuddup mah nigga?" Irie asked**

Irie covered her face as she whimpered at the humiliation. Iwasawa grabbed her in a hugy

"Just who do these people think we are?" Yuri asked.

**"Sekine, teach me how to play guitar will ya?" Yui askeed, "OK' Sekine replied "Under one condition." "I'll do anything!" Yui replied " I wanna stick my middle finger up and say fuck society through my music, because that's what rockers do!"**

Nobody knew how to respond to this.

**"Alright, good girl." sekine said with a smirk.**

"Sekine don't have chiildren." Hisako said quickly.

**Sekine gave Yui a piece of paper "Say this to that one blue hair robot student , umm I think his name is Hinata" the three girls believed they were the only humans in the world,and everyone else were robots. They established that Iwasawa and Hisako were just specially programmed rebellious robots.**

The base ball player cocked an eye brow.

""Rebellious robots?" Hisako fumed, Iwasawa looked away, keeping her cool. Sekine lifted her hands defensively.

"This story is comepletely inaccurate."

**Yui looked the paper over. she became confused. "I don't understand what this means . .. " Sekine waved her hand. "Hinata probably won't either,just seeing the blank look on his face while he tris to figure it out will be priceless, heehee"**

"I'm offended . . " Hinata said with a grimace.

**"Oh, but don't read the paper to him, memorize what it says first. "Yui was still unsure, but learning guitar was more important than the feelings of this robot, so she -**

Hinata faked sobbed

"You, you moron!" he yelled, Yui waved her arms around frantically

"This is total BS, of course your feelngs matter more to me than this guitar! I love you you dummy!" Yui yelled. they hugged each other, half the group face palmed, they were definetly made for each other.

**Yui went up to Hinata during lumch, Yuri and Ooyama sat with him.**

"I thought these people said I would not be in this?" Yuri asked

**"Hey. Hinata is it?" Yui asked, Hinata looked in the ditrection of the voice to face her."What do you want dumb robot?" he asked.**

"I really don't like this story!" Yui yelled. "Why does sempai consider me a dumb robot here?" she cried Hinata hugged her.

" You may not be the smartest, but I'm not either, your personality is whayt i fell in love with, that and your sttrength."

"Aww,sempaii " Yui cooed, cuddling a little more with her boyfriend.

'If you two don't shut up over there . . .'Hisako warned

**Yui took a deep breath, "Iwasawa has been freaking me out lately, she and I are room mates-**

"These people really love making stuff up on the fly . . ." Iwasawa mumbled

**When I get to our room at night, I just hear her go on and on about how badly she wants to bang you**

The room became silent. Hisako went up to Sekine and pulled her up by theshirt collar

"JUST WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" she yelled, Sekine cried as hisako kept shaking her.

"Hey, Yui's the one who said it!" Sekine whined

"I'll beat her up later, you're the one who started this though1" she yelled, Sekine proceeded to try to remind her this was not really their doing.

"Onee chan" one of Yuri's siblngs asked, "What does banging mean?"

'Not telling you." Yuri said automatically, cringing slightly at this new development

'Onii chan?" Hatsune began,

"No." Yuzuru replied firmly.

"Hey, I don't really know what banging is . . ." Yui said quietly,Irie whispered "sex" in the guitarist's ear, Yui froze, then clinged onto Hinata even more.

"Look, I think you're really cool Masami, but, umm, -" hinata stuttered

"This story," Iwasawa said in a voice filled with barely contained frustration "is not accurate. " Irie sighs and goes to the computer to keep reading

"Maybe this fic will get better, I mean, we all know this isn't true, so surely it'l just end with Sekine getting beat up . . ." she said flatly

**She says that just thinking of you makes her very wet and horny and**

"Iwasawa is gonna blow up in three, two," Hisako counted down, now near her legs are Yui and Sekine, beaten up. Iwasawa gets up, walks to the corner farthest from the group, and yells, then walks up to the computer.

"Irie" Iwasawa says in a sweet voice, "Please switch seats with me let me read the rest of this, astrocity." The drummer nods and switches seats

**Hinata gasps , Yuri smirks ' Hey, somebody actually likes you Hinata! Go tellher how you feel!"**

Yuri face palmed as she sensed Iwasawa's glare toward her direction

**Hinata took a minute to consider this development as Yui wondered about how human like these people acted. He then stood up and walked out of the cafeteria. Yui ran to where Sekine was, finding Sekine and Irie running off to follow Hinata**

"Stalkers" Hinata mumbled Irietook a big sigh at the stupidity in this fic.

**Hinata went to the music room where Iwasawa is usually, he knocks and opens the door to find Iwasawa was, umm, pleasing her self.**

'Someone,someoneplease kill this , this vileness." Iwasawa said , her body shook , she clenched her fists until her knuckles went white.

**whispering Hinata's name**

Yui was shaking in fear from her confusion, Hinata's whole body was twitching.

**Finally Hinata aproached the girl and took her free arm, he kissed her hand "You don't have to do this by yourself anymore" he whispered, inching in on her face.**

Iwasawa let her face drop to the keyboard of the computer, tears flowed from her eyesas heer body shook. hisako gently helped her friend and led her away from the computer.

Yuusa quickly went to the computer and scrolled down a bit

"Ah, Sekine tells Yui that this is what banging is, that is the lesson yui learns.

"C-can we stop the operation now Yueippe?" Hinata asked, Yuri shook her head.

"where there is bad there is good, surely there are good fanfics here! So we'll proceed to look for them! Everyone will have one chance to locate a good story! Don't screw it up!If you do, there will be a penalty game!" Everyone looked at Yuri funnily, but then reluctantly obeyed.

What horrors shall befall thm next? You decide ! Tell me what you want them to read in the chapters to come! thank you for reading!


	2. BoysDeMo

**Yo! I have returned with the next chapter! (Sorry for being late, I have work and schoolkeeping me busy. Enjoy! Or . . .feel sorry for these people . . .Whichever!**

Naoi was looking for his fanfiction with a scowl on his face. He'd just read a story entitled **Yaoi with Naoi ** in which every girl, even Shiina came off as a cold hearted bitch. (Seriously, how do you accomplish that with Shiina?) And had him in a threesome with Hinata and Otonashi,, he just wanted to get that image out of his head so badly . . .He then found something . ..

"Hey, imbicilies- except you Otonashi- I found a story I would like to share with you all."

"No one is getting it on with anyone, correct?" Yuri asked awkwardly as everyone wheeled around Naoi's computer.

"No, just don't read anything with yaoi in it . . ." Naoi replied. Everyone nodded, simply accepting this warning, knowing that it must be horrid based on Naoi's facial expression.

"Alright . . ." Hinata sighed, let's get this over with." Yui had her arms wrapped protectively around Hinata's arm.

**Crows, Alchemy, and the Deep Voices of A Thousand Enemies**

Iwasawa raised an eye brow at this

**By: FoolsToBootExcalibur**

**Summary: When The SSS faces a big sudden crisis, Naoi steps up to help them out of it.**

**Right after Iwasawa died on that stage-**

"Are they talking about when I was obliterated?" Iwasawa asked, she had her head in her hand with a look of annoyance on her face "They call that dying? Geez, these people over exaggerate things don't they."

**Hisako, not being able to stand the idea of being without her lover**

Iwasawa scrunched her face up, Hisako gagged.

"Now they think we're lesbian?" Hisako asked

**Accepted her fate as well and got obliterated, not worried about Sekine, Irie or Yui, they still had each other.**

"Bull. Shit!" Hisako roared as she leaped up from her chair. "Yeah, I might have been depressed after Iwasawa left, but I wouldn't just abandon the band that I founded to fend for themselves so I could take the cowards' way out!"

**The girls left behind were grieving, Yui kept writing horribly rushed love ballads**

"Is that implying that Yui loved us too?" Hisako said nervously with a scrunched up face. Yui glared at this computer that displayed these utter lies.

**Eventually Yui, missing Iwasawa and her mother very much, got herself obliterared too.**

"Must, resist, urge, to kill, computer, with, guitar." Yui chanted.

**All in all, Girls DeMo was pretty much out of commission.**

The girls glared at the screen intensely.

**Yuri and Shiina tried to throw a gorilla performance, which did not work well.**

"Soo,"Takamatsu began, "they had a concert where they threw gorillas."

"Can these people stop bringing that up?" Yuri asked, annoyed, Sekine and Irie looked confused.

**Everyone was in the headquarters, trying to decide on what to do about their Diversion unit.**

"**Well, " Takamatsu said sexily, "I can open a Chip-N-Dale Strip tease bar" he thrusted his manhood forward**

"Oh my God." The mentioned teen put his head in his hands. Hinata patted him sympathetically.

"Onii chan . . .?"

"No."

**Yuri considered this for a few moments**

"I ACTUALLY CONSIDERED THIS?!" Yuri screeched with her hands on her head

**Finally, she decided against it, "it would be boring with all the NPCs,"**

"This is the kind of reasoning they think I have?" Yuri whines, her face looking down.

**Naoi stood up. "How about Boys Dead Monster?" he asked. "I could hypnotize these morons so they believe they can play guitar an-**

"You can't learn, to play music that way." Kanade said "learning to play any instrument, begins with having a passion for music, that passion becomes the fire that burns inside you to keep you motivated to practice an instrument ,eventually you learn to light your instrument on fire with the fire in your soul. that, is the point when you learn to truly put your heart into music"

"Wow Kanade" Yuzuru said, looking at the silver hair girl next to him, "That was pretty, insightful." Kanade looked at the red head, nodded, mumbled something about playing piano while blushing

"Hey," Iwasawa said, Kanade looked up and saw the vocalist and Hisako had their hands in the air. "That was pretty deep, what you said, definitely true." Kanade highfived them both silently

"Anyway," Hisako said quickly, "This is not going to end well. It will be fun to see you guys try anyway, so as much as I hate this story for what it degrades us to, continue please.

**So, after much careful delibiration, Naoi came up with the perfect line up. **

Iwasawa facepalmed, but chuckled.

"Even worse, this band won't even be based on talent! It's based on one guy's decisions." Naoi glared at the girl

"You saying I can't make a band?"

"Pretty much" the diversion leader challenged playfully. Naoi soffed then mummured "I'll show you"

**"Otonashi Yuzuru would be the lead singer ,**

"Of course he would, since Naoi is deciding" Fujimaki mumbled

"Jealous?" Hisako asked,

"I don't sing." Fujimaki replied.

**Hinata would beside guitarist and the eye candy for girls**

Hinata gave his signature pose, Yui looked at him funny.

**Fujimaki would be the bassist and Ooyama on drums, because like Sekine and Irie before, they were two people most people hardly noticed, while they harbored a secret deep love for each other**

"Sit" Hisako said suddenly. afterwards, Sekine and Yui, who were inching in on the computer with their guitars sat behind the computer, angrily.

"What's this about me and Ooyama being lovers?" Fujimaki said with suspicion.

**Noda would be the band manager, which, of course, he objected to.**

"Why? I dun wanna play music, especially if that means listening to that, idiot singing." Noda objected. "Besides, being manager makes me in charge of security, so I can use my hallberd."

**Damn it, he wanted to sing! **

"No."

**Naoi was not going to stop him! So he began a plan . . .**

"Does it involve killing Naoi?" Noda said with a little eagerness, the hypnotist glared at him.

**Naoi spent the next week using his hypnotism to perfect the band's chemistry and stage presence.**

"Our poor band which we spent months building up, is being replaced by simple minded hypnotism and a week of forced organization . . ." Irie said sadly, the two band founders were shaking their heads. Naoi glared at the girl with lavander hair for her comment on his hypnotism.

**Finally came the first operation Tornado since Boys Dead Monster was they played Crow Song, on a much lower key, Naoi released a cage full of crows on the audience, for, reasons.**

"I wish we thought of that, that could have been useful." Yuri said,

'That would have been annoying." Iwasawa objected, rubbing her temples.

**Then came Hisako's famos riff solo in Crow song, Hinata tried, he really did. It was too complicated though. So he just started improvising , hoping it sounded OK**

Hisako was now snickering.

**Meanwhile, feeling pumped up by the performance, Fujimaki got brave, ripped off his shirt, swung it around like a lassel whooping, before throwing it at the screaming NPC fans below**

Fujimaki threw his head back and groaned loudly while Hisako and Sekine were laughing flat out. iwasawa was cringing. Her music was being performed, in such a matter . . .

'Come on Masami, it's a joke, don't take it seriously." Iwasawa shook her head, refusing to heed the advice

**After that was Alchemy. Everything went well at first, for a makeshift band. Then as Otonashi sang the secondverse, the lights suddenly went off ,the NPCs were all so very confused. lights then went back on and Otonashi was on the ground, chopped up. Noda stood, smirking.**

Naoi grabbed Nodaby the collar.

"You got some nerve" Naoi hissed, Noda growled in response, attempting to push the boy of ut Naoi persisted.

**Naoi sighed at the unfourtanate, sisruption. The show had to go on though, or no food for anyone. So, he hypnotized the band to start playing metal music, making Noda smirk**

"How does he know what music I like?"

"You never know what I'll get out of you while you sleep" Naoi smirked, noda gritted his teeth, now annoyed.


	3. Kanade Knows

**Ughh, Sky Drive cut off the last chapter, not using that to write more chapters /**

**Sorry for the sloppy last chapter and my absense which for the most part, was due to me being busy.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter! May more come a lot sooner!**

Naoi was still huddled in a ball traumitized. For the second time in just a half hour, his character had been put in a homosexual threesome with his best friend and his rival because the worthless lower-than-clothespins imbicile was depressed about the pink rocker chick geting obliterated. Everyone else was hesitantly trying to find a good sane fic while trying to escape the mental imagesof the last fic.

"OK" Yuzuru declared, "I found my fic I guess, nobody is having sex, I made sure of that." Everyone rolled over, not knowing what to expect, but bracing themselves for anything to happen.

"Sempai . . ." Yui whispered.

"Yui." Hinata said as he poked the girl's cheek, I told you I was yours didn't I? Nobody will change that, especially not some silly stories. You're the one and only person I've ever loved like this an-"

"Save it for the bedroom Hinata, Yuzuru, please begin." Yuri said calmly. Yui nuzzled with her boyfriend .

**The Ties Called Love**

**By: Estinguished**

**Summary: Yuzuru confessed his love to Kanade and this is what happens afterwards. Alternative ending!**

"Aww" Hatsune cooed, looking at her redhead brother who blushed as he smiled. Kanade grabbed the boy's hand. which made yuzuru smile even more.

"Hey wait." Yuzuru started," I really hope this alternative ending isn't bad, I mean, there's no sex, but it could still-"

"Quit whining and read" Yuri commanded.

**"Say Kanade," Yuzuru began, Kanade turned to him. the sun was setting and the floor was shining like gold, a perfect setting for a precious moment like what was about to unfold. Kanade looked at him calmly. Yuzuru took out a can of key coffee, "Have one, it's good." he said.**

"That's innacurate . . .and really stupid . . ." Otonashi objected. "That was a serious moment, I would not ruin it offering her friggin tea of all things."

**Kanade gave him an "Are you serious?" look and Oonashi threw the tea off, he then heard a startled puppy's bark.**

Suddenly Otonashi felt a kunai being pressed to his neck.

"It's OK Shiina" Yuzuru laughed."The dog was just startled." Shiina huffed.

"That better be all . . ." she whispered as she pulled back. Yuzuru facepalmeed quicly at the writing in this story so far, but kept reading.

**"Kanade, I was wondering,if you'd like to stay in this world with me. If you did I wouldn't get lonely and we could help people like Yuri and Hinata pass on. Not to mention you could fly me anywhere with your Angel Wings and that'd look so awesome!"**

Kanade looked at the red head funny, Yuzzuru face palmed. "This is so stupid" he mumbled

"Agreed" Shiina interjected

"Dununununununununununu ANGEL!, angel . . ." TK sang

**"All joking asside though, I really love you, Kanade." Otonashi said as he brought his angel into his arms. "Please stay with me."**

"Awwwwwww" the three younger Girls DeMo members cooed along with Hatsune and Yuri's sisters.

**"Why, Why aren't you saying anything?" Otonashi asked, Kanade sighed. "I can't return your feelings . . ." she replied**

Yuzuru gulped, he knew what was coming next

**"Why not? asked Otonashi, Kanade looked at the red head aeriously. "Yuzuru, the SSS has a shit ton of issues when it comes with relationships."**

A bunch of slow "Whats" were voiced.

"do i really need to, cuss?" Kanade asked.

**"What do you mean?" Yuzuru asked a bit bewildered. Kanade glared at himand when she spoke the pitch of her voice raised significantly. "You saw Ooyama confess his feelings to me that day, after that final exam, yet you have the audacity to , when he disappears go right ahead and try to snatch me for yourself!"**

Half the guys in the room were now roaring with laughter, Yuri cocked an eye brow, Ooyama sat and shook, mumbling "That's not funny"

**"Besides! You have Hinata and Naoi who have shown strong devotion for you! What about them?"**

Naoi groaned loudly at the mention of him being in a yaoi relationship.

"These people apparently don't think guys can't be good friends." Naoi objected

**"But Hinata has Yui!" Otonashi objected, admirably trying to fix this girls heavy misguidance. "Also, didn't Naoi and that once chic Michiko hook up?"**

"Who . .?" Naoi asked, Noda sighed.

"That sounds like an OC, a character the author makes up and puts in a fanfic. OC centric fics, fics with only OCs in it are the only kind of fic I read in my past life. There wasn't any of that leon, or yuri or yaoi bull shit." Yuri shuttered at the mention of the blasted term.

"This is insulting." Naoi said with clenched teeth .

**Kanade's voice went to normal pitch . "Yes but still, he seemed to love you so much yet he goes and hooks up with that girl who came here after you. That same shit happened with Hinata and Nakemi"**

"This Kanade" Takamatsu mumbled, "Needs to mind her own buisness really." Kanade sighed heavily and shook her head.

Hinata face palmed and Yui, oh if looks could kill.

**Kanade's high pitch voice returned"And don't even get me STARTED with Yui!"**

Yui gulped

**"I saw Yui kissing her guitar, her freaking GUITAR! This girl has object sexuality! She's a total nut job!"**

"OK now this Kanade is becoming just plain dumb" Fujimaki sighed

"Yeah," Hisako mumbled "I kiss my guitar every night, I'm not attracted to it like that, I just really like it and feel a strong connection to it.

**"I guess that's what happens whrn you spend your life confined to a bed" Kanade mumbles**

Yui gasped then gritted her teeth, then charged for the computer with her bare fist, because Hisako confiscated her guitar. Hinata catches her and pulls her into a string hug while Yui shakes.

"Shh, it's OK, you're not like that, OK?" he cooed

**"Not too mention half the guys in your group have the hots for Yuri"**

"Yet none of them have made a move in the near decade we spent there? That's a total lie" Yuri objected.

**"You people are hopeless, oh and thanks for the heart I guess . .. " she dissapeared **

**The End**

Yuusa whistled

Kanade rubbed her temples, sighed heavily and put her head on Otonashi's shoulder while Otonashi wrapped his arm around her.

"That was, painful . . ."Yuri mumbled "So our journey to find good fnafics continues, again, guys, new rule: umm, ya know what forget it. everyone look for some fanfics and I'll go find some strong aspirin for us all, because we'll need it.

Irie skimmed the end of the story she was looking at before this started.

"It's probably as safe of a read as we're gonna get . .. " she said

"I have my fic guys!"

**Liked it? Hate it? Do you have aspirin to offer these poor souls? Please comment anything that came to mind while reading!**


	4. Dat Road Trip

**Welp, here is the next chapter! I have a feeling, a good feeling, this will be the best yet. Also,if you like this story,search for Angel Beats Light Novel Girls DeadMonster chapter. There are two and they are hilarious, particularly Iwasawa, Oh my gosh XDD**

Everyone reluctantly wheeled to Irie's computer

"How bad is it Miyukichi?" Sekine asked

"Well" Miyuki Irie replied, "It reminds me of your diary entries" Everyone not in Girls DeMo looked confused, Sekine smirked sheepishly Yui was snickering, Hisako gritted her teeth while Iwasawa shrugged

"As long as I'm not trying to please myself, I'm OK" she mumbled

"Let this be a good one?" Yuri prompted

"Yep" Irie sighed

**Road Trip!**

**By: PhantomVisitingOprah**

"These names . . ." Matsushita mumbled

**All of the members of the SSS have passed on andare ow reincarnated**

Everyone perked up.

"Woah,"

"Are we barnicles now?"

"No way, no way! we're kitties!"

"Kitties can't play guitar though, sadface"

"I'll train myself!"

"Oooh,like that one kitty on tumblr!"

"If I'm a bear do I still get a halberd?"

"Onii chan do you think we'll be brother and sister again?"

"Yeah! Maybe we'll live in Austrailia this time."

"Onee chan in this life I'll learn self defense and protect everyone from them burglars"

"I'll have a good ol' fashion bomb system installed around our house for security."

"Maybe I'll have a girlfriend in this life"

"As long as I can live a meaningful life, I'll be happy."

"It's my life, it's now or never! And I aint gonna live forever!~"

"This is so stupid."

"Iwasawa come live with me!"

"As long as your parents aren't assholes Hisako."

"Who wants to bet that Hinata will .be bi in the next life?"

"Shut up!"

"ALRIGHT THAT'S ENOUGH~!" Yuri yelled, "Continue please, Irie"

**-and they all go for a road trip, a good ol' fun road trip!**

"Seems, harmless Matsushita volunteered

**Everyone has been reincarnated and they are all sixteen and Yui was fourteen now**

**They do not remember the AfterLife**

Silence fell over the room

"It's to be expected." Yuri said finally with a sigh.

**However, Hinata and Yui got married **

"YAY!" the two yelled cheerfully and hugged each other tightly

**Yui never got hit by that car so she walked and was able to start a family with Hinata, they had a precious little baby girl named Mayuri Yui's mom was keeping her while they took the road trip.**

"Waaaa!" Yui squeeled loudly as Hinata continued to hold her close.

"Hold on." Fujimaki said with a cocked eyebrow. "You guys are sixteen andfourteen, and you have a kid . . .that's kinda off"

The two looked at each other, then at the computer,and blushed.

**They were using a limo that Sekine hijacked **

"Whoa" Yusa inserted

"WHOA, I'M SO AWESOME HERE!" Sekine exclaimed.

**And Yui is driving.**

"We're screwed" Hisako admitted, raising her hands in the air in defeat.

"I could drive!" Yui pouted.

**As Yui swerved horribly, zig zagging across the road while ocassionally running a red light,she steadily smoked a pack of Camel cigarettes**

""What the hell?!" Yui yelled.

""How, what?" Yuri mumbled, "How do they come up with this stuff?"

**as she mumbled about Einstein's theory of relativity.**

The room became silent

"Yui is, smart?" Takamatsu questioned.

A few seconds later the room rupted in laughter while Yui growled and sat in her chair pouting while Hinata patted her shoulder.

**beside her Hinata sat with his feet propped up on the dashboard sighing constantly , bored. "Are we at the canyon yet?" he asked. **

"Why am I fascinated with canyons all of a sudden?" Hinata asked.

**Yui sighed, "Just chill man, we'll get there, when we get there." she said slowly. and calmly**

"Thisis so scary for Yui" Otonashi mumbled, some nodded in agreement

**Fujimaki suddenly threw his head in Hinata's face. "Why do you want to go to the canyon man?" he asked "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DEEP, DANGEROUYS AND SCARY CANYONS ARE?" he yelled.**

Fujimaki face palmed as half the group snickered.

**This wholetime Shiina hung upside down from the roof door of the limo , in a high pitch voice she squeeled "Oh my gosh Yui, smoking is like, so bad for your lungs, Hinata, Canyons are lame, meditate under waterfalls of ramen! ! Fujimaki, quit being a pussy man."**

"This is beyond stupid" Shiina said.

The rest of the group either kept snickering or scratched their heads at Shiina's new personality.

**"Fuji-chan!" Hisako chimed in a high pitch slightly whiny voice**

Fujimaki quickly turned to Hisako with a scrunched up face, Hisako was looking at the computer with a face filled with frustration and agitation.

"No." she said in aquiet dangerous voice

**"Fuji-chan my breast isreally hurting me from my morning jog, can you give me a massage please?"**

Hisako now had her mouth wide open as her face grew more and more red.

"Hisako, why is your face red?" Fujimaki asked suspiciously. Sekine ran to the katana weilder's ear and whispered

"She really wants you to do that" Yui giggled

Sekine and Yui died soon after. Hinata picked Yui's body up and held it in his lap, Irie put a blanket on Sekine on the ground.

Fujimaki was now blushing like mad, looking the other way.

**"Not now Hisako!" Fujimaki replied. ""DON'T YOU SEE THEY'RE DRIVING TOWARD A CANYON, ADARK DANGEROUS CANYON!? IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?!" Shiina giggled "It looks like someone's missing out on getting some tonight"**

"She's right you know" Hinata said while snickering Fujimai had his face in his hands.

**"Guys, please close your oxygen emission areas while I allow my eyes you observe and digest this fine piece of pornography, that consists of a male wrapping his tongue musclesaround a female's nipple while he places three digets of his other hand into the female's womanhood searching for her clitoris "**

The group looked atNoda in silence, Noda was visably shaking in shock

"I chime in with a Haven't you people ever heard of closing the *** ****** door?"TK sang Yuri heaved a big sigh

"Just, keep going." Yuri said hesitantly.

**"Oh, my gosh! Hisako our song is on my Shuffle!" Iwasawa squeeled. Hisako took an earphone as she rubbed her own breast**

"No."

**"Oh my gosh I love Hot Problems!" she yelled. They then continued to sing along to the song.**

the two teens, being Japanese were totaly confused about the song. TK pulled out his i-pod and fooled around with it beforegiving it to the girls. They each put an earphone on and listened as Irie took a break along with everyone else. TK gave a rough translation. Their faces gained more and more annoyance as the song progressed. They gavethe ipod bac to TK with looks of utter disgust on their faces.

**They then started listening to Dragonforce**

"Much better" Hisako sighed. "I never understood the song lyrics comepletely, but absolutely loved the guitar playing in there."

**They played air guitar as they listened because in this life, they had no talent for guitar amd no hopes of mastering the real thing the way they did in their past lives.**

"A, a life without guitar? Tha-that's so horrible" Iwasawa gasped. "I'drather die than-" Hisako patted her on the shoulder as she shook her head.

"Just words on a page, they don't mean nothing" she conforted softly.

**Yui on the other hand could play Dragonforce songs with ease and had a great sense of rhythm.**

"Well, I guess that's. kind of helpful" the pinkette replied finally waking up "Thanks sempai" she got out of Hinata's lap and sat on her oewn chair "We still reading the road trip thing?"

"Yes." Hisako breathed. "Still reading that abomination. that horribly inaccurate abomination."

**Otonashi and Kanade were in jail for some armed robbery they commited a month ago.**

"What?!" Otonashi yelld. Kanade looked down.

"I'm, I'm really a bad person then?" she asked. Otonashi held Kanade close

"Of course not! you're an amazing person, you were being strongtrying to help us out in the after life!"

**"Shiina~!" a voice calledfrom the roof of the limo. Shiina swung to the roof to find Irie in only abra and undies with a glass bottle of beer in her hand that was now empty.**

Irie visably shuttered as tears filled her eyees. "This, this is horrible!" A hand tapped on Irie's shoulder.

"I'll take over from here Miyukichi" Sekine whispered with a smile. Irie nodded graciously and they switched places.

**"Can you see if anyone in there has anymore beer?" she asked with a tomato red face. Meanwhile Sekine was dressed in all black, with sunglasses, shooting randomly into the night sky with a straight face.**

"Why?" Naoi asked Sekine shrugged

"I'm not hurting anyone" she sang

"Yet." Hisako stated.

**Back in the limo, Yuri rocked back and forth with her phone on GPS mode "This, this GPS, I can't get it to work."she panicked in A normal volume voice. She kept fooling with it "It will only sing Russian opera, give me Duck Dynasty noises, or speak Korean! Ahh, What do I do WHAT DO I DO?!" Yuri started sobing. **

"Wow." Yuri said with alook of disgust "This fic's innacuracy . . ."

**Naoi was crying , curled up in aball next to Yuri "I don't care about TK andMatsushita's wedding anymore! I hate these people! They're so scary! I wanna go home!"**

**"We're getting married?!" the two mentioned yelled in horrort**

"Man that's pathetic" Naoi mumbled as he clenched hisfists in anger.

**"I agree!" Yuri yelled and threw her phone. "FUCK THIS GPS, FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET THERE YOURSELVES~!" she yelled. Shehit Takeyama in the head. Takeyama kept mumbling about not being good enough.**

Takeyama sighed and kept typing away on his laptop.

**In this road trip the group had to deal with difficulties behaving im a resturaunt that includedmaking Irie keep her clothes on. A convinoience store clerk calling the police on Sekine. Shiina saving a dog from the street and calling it Ooyama**

"So I'm a dog now/" the ginger asked frowning

**Going to walmart for supplies but quickly loosig everyone who insisted on doing their own thing, hour long bathroom breaks, Yui having to escape the cops for her and Sekine and Irie's crimes (Think of all the children who's eyes were scarred from her not so innocent appearance!) Finally Yui crashed the limo into a bush at the wedding chapel and everyone ran in as the wedding was about to start. It was a beautiful wedding, because everyone in that limo stayed quiet and Irie stayed decently covered. Also Matsushita was in a brides gown and everyone was busy giggling**

People laughed at the last part

**It was a nice wedding, until dat reception . . . see what happensin chapter two!**

"Which we aren't going to read" Yuri declared and everyone sighed in relief.

"New mission" Hinata declared, "Find fanfiction that doesn't butcher our characters. Everone agreed.

_Hope you all enjoyed, please comment and give suggestions/requests for new chapters if you have any!_


	5. Duh Mawl

OK, sorry I'm so late but here is the next chapter~! I finally have inspiration for this and will publish another chapter tonight to make up for my neglect on this story. I'm so glad people like this and I love writing it~! In this chapter I make fun of writing style that I am plenty guilty of myself, so , no hard feelings?

"Huh . . ." Noda went "Maybe that will work! Hey guys! I found something interesting." The normal transition began occurring toward Noda's computer with different degrees of discontent on everyone's faces.

"Define interesting." Yuri prompted.

"Read the summary." Noda replied, Yuri did.

**The Supah Dupah Okashi Desu Ne? Angel Beats Adventure!**

"The super duper this is weird isn't it Angel Beats Adventure?" Matsushita translated.

"This is going to be stupid" Shiina interjected.  
><strong>By: CloeisMoe<strong>

"Moe? What is that Onii san?" Hatsune asked.

"I, don't know actually." Otonashi replied. Noda raised his hand.

"Basically you're talking about the kind of girl Yui is."

"Are you hitting on my fiancée?" Hinata asked with suspicion, eyes squinted.

"Hell no man, you can have her." He replied. "I'm just saying that is what Moe is." Hinata relaxed and Yui patted him on the head with a big smile on her face and a wag of her tail.

**Summary: Just a random Angel Beats fic my 7 year old niece wrote, it's not serious like the other fics are. This is a retelling of the first episode of Angel Beats.**

"It is confirmed the other fics are serious, and my faith in humanity has dimmed." Takamatsu sighed.

"Well, maybe if we read this believing this is not meant to be serious, maybe it won't be so bad." Yuri offered. "Please begin Noda."

"No one beat me up, OK?"

**Youzoolu Oh-Toe-Nashee**

"Holy shit that's bad spelling." Noda exclaimed." I have better spelling than this when I'm half awake."

**Woak ahp in duh steps 2 **

"2?! How friggin lazy can these people be?" Matsushita asked.

**A mawl. Next to him was a girl with an oozee gun pointed at another girl with lafender hare.**

"Soo, a lavender rabbit?" Yuusa asked. "This seven ear old needs to use spell check, but, it's not horrible so far.

**Youree Nakamura pointed an oozee gun at Tachee-Bana Kanaday**

"I knew you people were insane "morons" but . . ." Kanade started "An uzi? Really? Is that really necessary?"

"We'd never be that insane." Yuri mumbled before face palming.

"And what is up with this taking place in a mall?" Fujimaki asked.

**Youzoolu ran away into the mall because he cud tell that Youree was a saiko bitch and Kanaday was krayzee becus she was just standing dere. Wich is all troo.**

Yuri's eyebrows were raised**.**

"She knows about uzis, knows swear words and she is supposedly seven? Also, I am not a psycho."

All of the sudden a bunch of people coughed at once. 

**Oh Toe Nashee went in the mawl and he sees No,Duh with a Hell Bird in his hands**

Damn, that's pretty wicked" Fujimaki admitted."

"They probably meant halberd, but like 75% of this fic, cannot friggin spell the right word." Noda sighed.

**No,Duh sweengs the hell bird and shouts "Use flame thrower! And insinurates Oh-Toe Nashee.**

"Still better than being chopped alive." Otonashi said nonchanctically.

**Oh-Toh-Nashee woke up in the mawl sekyoritee ophiss surrounded by a bunch of reely weerd peepole. Dey were all dressed in soots with skurts for the laydees wile dey did weerd shit.**

"Which pretty much describes what we do in ALL of these stories." Irie chimed in, cringing at the memory of the last fic.

**Youree sat up on the desk and crossed her legs as she yushalee does, flashing a bit of pantee**

"No."

"**OK, Yooee, Heenahta, Matsoosheeta, Takamatsoo,Oyama, Nowie, and Sheenah, Comens Operayshun TOILET, be Totalee Obnockshuss Idiyots and Loot Everyone's movie Tickets.**

"That is some horrible name spelling" Otonashi said.

"Wait, W- , Uggghh, Well . . .We would be the ones to do that at a mall wouldn't we?"

"Hell no! We have a lot more class than that!" Yuri argued, Iwasawa snorted.

"Class? We played music while you used fans to take people's meal tickets. Hinata's right, we would do that in a mall."

**Heenahta swallowed a hand fool of pills-**

"Wait wait, WHAT?!"

**(Psst, I'm trying 2 keep dis realistic gies. Heenahta was a total druggee be4 dying so he has 2 be duh same now.)**

Hinata was shaking and gritting his teeth while Yui grabbed his hand, patted his head and said "It's alright Hideki, you're not like that anymore, and even if you were I'd still love you." Takeyama flicked his glasses.

"Drug addiction is a condition of the body. Once the body dies, the craving for nicotine goes away."

**B4 pushing a chubby Yooee who was in a wheel chare out of the room**

Yui glared at the computer.

**Nowie had his head down, as he was horribly insekyure becuz he wuz not reely his brudder or wutever I did not understand his past store very well.**

"I was not insecure!" Naoi yelled. "My right to live as an individual was ta-" he stopped because Otonashi put an arm around him.

"It's alright Naoi, it's alright." Naoi calmed down and leaned into Otonashi while wiping his tears away

**Followed by duh rest of the crue, hoo still had wutever problems dey had while alive**

"Even if they were not stated in this, Angel Beats thing, why did they not try to make something up?" Fujimaki asked.

"You want this chick to try and guess and horribly simplify what our lives were like?" Shiori asked

"Yeah, that would go lovely with her "trying to be supah edgy" personality."Hisako interjected.

**"Wut duh fuck is goeeng on here?" Yousoolu asked.**

"I know I over react sometimes, but this is a bit much" Otonashi said.

**Suddenly TK and Sheeyouree jumped in his face.**

**"Welkum to A.S..S!" they yelled in Southern accents**

**"ASS?" Oh-toe Nashee asked.**

**"Angel's Sucha Shithead" TK replied**

"I knew we had strong misunderstandings but, is this really how you all thought of me?" Kanade asked.

"No, we just didn't trust you" Otonashi said chuckling nervously.

"I thought we sucked at picking names . .. "Ooyama inserted.

"Why do we have southern accents?" Shiori asked

"Well Shiori." Hisako began, "You do have quite the fascination with Kansai-ben as seen in your journals. " Yui giggled at this

"That's bitting me bavk in the butt now isn't it?" Shiori asked.

**"Yes," Youree continyoud, "This is A.S.S.. I am Youree, the people in front of you r Sheeyouree and TK, the group's hill billees**

"What's a "hill billy"?" Shiori asked, TK snapped his fingers,and pointed.

"Country bumpkin, hill billies are white simple minded folk" he replied . Shiori scrunched her face up and then shook her head and face palmed with a sigh. "I thought I looked cool" she mumbled, Miyuki placed a comforting arm around her friend and Shiori nuzzled closer to her friend's boobs, causing a blush and a face of annoyance to form on the drummer's face.

**"TK is a danser and Sheeyouree is the basist of the band Girls With Living Poptart Kitties**

I'd love to hear how that name was made" Yuusa said sarcastically.

**"Becuz u know aim all about dat Base, bout dat base , no Trebble" Sheeyouree started singing.**

"Now I'm singing some lame simple minded song?" Shiori grumbled. Iwasawa quickly shook her head, wheeled to her computer and put on Mehgan Trainor's _All About That Bass._ After the song which TK translated once again, the crowd looked at each other

"Despite the slightly conflicted message of the song, it's pretty catchy" Shiori admitted.

**"Yeah, yeah, sit down Sheeyouree." Youree sed dismissivlee Next we hab Eewasawa who is an alkohawlic bcuz her dad was 1 in her past lyfe."**

I would develop object sexuality with my guitar before stooping to such disgusting levels." Iwasawa sneered

**Eewasawa Masamy sat on the table, half of her suit buttons open and tie undone as she drank beer and winked at Oh-Toh Nashee b4 wiggling her titties a bit.**

"Hhhhhhuuuuuggggghhhhhhhh" the guitarist heeved

"Seriously this seven year old is scaring me." Yuri's sister said, Yuri nodded in agreement.

**"Nest to her is Heesako, A.S.S.'s gambler, olympic star, star gitarist, and the only Ayshan girl in this groop bcuz she is the onlee 1 with squinty eyes**

"She's a racist too now." Hisako mumbled.

**"Next we have Meeyookee who is a bisexual tease, Seriously, when she isn't playing the drums, she's hitting on sum1. Meeyookee crawled on the tayble to Oh Toh Nashee and smirked**

"Does anyone have a death note?" Miyuki asked.

**"Lastly we have Usa who is part of the mawl's acshuall sekyuritee , she covers A.S.S.'s asses when our stoopid shit gets out of hand,she uses scissors as a last reesort."**

Half the men in the room shivered at the mention of Yuusa and scissors

"I'd prefer to not use my scissors, or, that, side of me, to ever defend people" Yuusa declared.

"I guess this is better than anxiety ridden Yuri" the SSS leader said weakly.

**"U 4got about me!" a voice yelled.**

**"Oh yeah, " Youree nodded Taquellama is our foreign IT speshalist with a huge self luv complex. Spanish s his first language and he can KO dumb peepole by resiting duh longest word in the English Alfabet." Taquellama waved his hsand before going back to his computer,**

"So because this person happened to misspell my name with words that happened to be Spanish, she makes me Spanish?" Takeyama said disgusted

**So, yor gonna join right?" Youree asked, "I meen, I just sspent the last 8 minutes introdoosing evry1 so u better make it worph my time."**

I'm not THAT lazy."Yuri objected.

**Oh-Toh Nashee looked at Youree, den looked back 2 all of duh peepole and shook his hed. "Hell,No, I am not joining you, u peepole are 2 saiko!" he yelled bfore running off.**

"Truly anti climatic" Hideki grumbled

"Do I really have to speak like that? " Otonashi asked.

"These last two stories seem to just be authors giving everyone crazy descriptions and then ending the story . . ."Takeyama injected, "May I suggest we find stories that do not do this and actually have action?"

""Sounds good" some people muttered, others nodded, some just headed back to their coputers with their heads down, their faith in humanity dimmed yet again.


	6. Melodramatic, Nerve Wrecking Smut

"Hey dudes, I found a fanfic!" TK exclaimed. everyone rolled over to his computer all looking at the screen suspiciously. TK put his hands together and bowed. "My Japanese is not super good, especially when reading, so please bear with me" he said. Everyone clapped and cheered TK on. TK bowed and turned in his chair to begin reading.

**What Gave Me Hope, What Gave Me Strength**

**By: ElsAnnascape**

**Summary: Hisako and Yui are both at the end of their ropes, can they help each other hang in there?**

"Seems, harmless . . ." Yui mumbled.

"Could be actually good , and, deep, and, meaningful." a roar of laughter quickly followed Yuusa's claim.

**After completing her nightly routines Hisako was heading for bed. She opened the door to her room t discover half the battle front was there. She wondrred if they were gonna throw a party here or something.**

"Noo," Hisako said slowly, "I'd just want them to leave.

**"What are you doing here?" Hisako asked. Yuri walked up to her. **

**"Sorry Hisako, but Angel's room is next door and we're trying to collect information on her, so we'll probably be here all night.**

"I will never understand you people" Kanade said.

"Atleast we know better now" Yuri replied sheepishly.

**Hisako gave an agitated growl before going off to Shiori and Miyuki's room. She knocked on the door but Miyuki was snoring so loud Shiori had earplugs in and was sleeping happily.**

"I do not snore!' Miyuki objected "Right Shiorin?"

"No but you sure do fart in your sleep."

"Are you serious?!"

"I'm just kidding hun, you don't do either" Miyuki sighed in relief.

"Moving on . ." naoi said.

**Hisako was now furious and she went to the end of the hall to Yui's room. She kicked open the door out of anger**

"I doubt I would get that angry, that easily." Hisako objected.

**in the room an NPC slept, listening to classical music with headphones on, and Yui sat on the other bed with earphones on, playing her guitar. she wore sexy gothic lingerine.**

"Shit" Hinata mumbled as his hand quickly went over his face "Er, does anyone have tissue, my nose is bleeding a bit..

"heh, here ya go man" Matsushita replied, handing the man tissues while silently winking.

**Yui, seeing the side guitarist, who was trying to look less mad unplugged her ears**

**"Yui, those morons are in my room, and I can't get in Shiori's room, so, um, can I sleep here tonight?" Yui nodded, "Sure." Yui scooted to the far side of her bed, which was just big enough to ft two people with a bit of space in between.**

This is, a bit awkward." Hisako mumbled.

"My mom would sometimes climb in my bed with me, but this is a bit strange." Yui agreed.

**Hisako brought her arms up near her face before closing her eyes and drifting to sleep. She didn't really like sleeping, since she would dream about her old band and that history,**

"Very true." the guitarist replied

**Suddenly Hisako was awakened by a warm sensation on her wrist. She looked and can faintly see that Yui was kissing her wrist.**

Hisako glared at the pinkette who looked confused.

**"What are you doing?" Hisako whispered, creeped out**

**"Mom would kiss any injury I got, to make it better. I know the scars on your wrists- **

"So I cut now?!" Hisako argued.

**can't be healed, but I figured, maybe I could make them feel better some how.**

"You moron . . ." Hisako sighed."

**"Yui," Hisako said sternly. "Do you really think you can heal these scars by wishing them away? Or waiting? If it were that simple I could sleep a lot more than I do, but it's not."**

**"That's why we're always angry right?" Yui asked, "because we can't sleep, because our dreams haunt us.**

"Aww, so all Hisako needed was a little nap!" Sekine cooed Her head was chopped in by the mentioned brunette.

**"So you have them too, huh?" Hisako asked, Yui nodded. "I alwaysdream about my mom, and half the time I remember my last horrible minutes of life.**

**"Yeah, I remember mine too" Hisako stuttered suddenly tears rushed out of her eyes.**

"I don't cry in front of people, that's just weak." Hisako huffed.

**Yui saw this, and wiped the tears with one of her hands, gently pressing it near her eyes to stop them from falling. Hisako felt Yuis hands on her face, and looked into Yui's eyes Finally, she found someone other than Masami who understood what it felt like for sleep to be a torture, potentally traumitizing, someone who fought the same fight she did. **

"This is getting way too sappyy" Hisako said.

**She saw tears starting to form in Yui's eyes Hisako placed an arm in the small of Yui's back whileher other hand grabbed and gently guided Yui's outstretched wrist toward her chest**

**"Hisako?" Yui asked Hisako put her forhead on Yui's and sighed.**

**"I never knew, just how much, we had in common. and that we struggle the same way" Hisako mumbled, Yui nodded weakly, she was overwhelmed because Hisako's breath that hit her neck was serously turning her on. Hisako saw this yearning in Yui's eyes, she nodded softly and slowly went in and put her lips on Yui**

At this moment, Matsushita, Takamatsu, , Noda, Takeyama, and Yuusa ran to the computer whooping, except for Yuusa, "Read more TK" Hisako hafd turned to sob on a conforting Iwasawa's shoulder while Yui shhook . Hnata and Fujimaki

"Hey TK, maybe you should stop?" Hinata prompted Naoi looked at the two objectors, verssus the 6 guys crowded around TK and one Yusa and shook his head, before looking at them with his red eyes . . .

The two fainted, along with the kids, and Otonashi who looked toward Naoi trying to tell him to stop.

**Yui scooted closer into Hisako's firm strong body that was kissing her with so much passion, while Hisako was cherishing the feel of Yui's gentle lips under her control, and the younger girls body trying to pull herself closer and wrap her legs around the brunette's waist, making them both wetter . Yui used all of the strength in her body to flip them over so she was on top and began nibbling on Hisako's neck.**

"Don't you have fangs? That would hurt . . ." Hisako mumbled rubbing her neck

"That's your biggest concern?" Yui asked in an annoyed tone

"Look, we both know this sucks and we both don't like it, but everyone else wants to read it, might as well just go along and not take it seriously." Hisako suggested Yui nodded reluctantly and quitted down..

**Hisako moaned very softly , while Yui began grinding her hips into the brunette. Hisako soon flipped the two back over and slowly removed Yui's lingerie which made Yui blush in the face. Hisako gave her a tender kiss**

**"Don't worry, t'll be fine" she smiled Yuii giggled softly. "How did it come to this?" she asked as Hisako removed the dress completely.**

"This is REALLY uncomfortable, and why am I even wearing lingerie?" Yui whined. Hisako shrugged. "Yeah, it's uncomfortable, but it's almost over" she replied, "Thank God" she sighed while holding her face in her hand.

**"Not sure, but we'rre here, and we're both happy with this"**

"No we're really not" The two mentioned yelled.

**Yui slipped her hand undrr Hisako's shirt and started exxploring while Hisako kneeded her breasts, making her moan loudly . Yui finally got Hisako's shirt off and worked on untying the pants and putting a hand in there**

"STOP!" Hisako yelled, dissapointing the guys who were, definetly having fun. "I have a proposistion to make, and I'm sure Yui will agree. ince this is a very intimate story abot us and revealing our prvate parts, I propose we make yyou all suffer through more of the fanfiction you hated if you want to keep reading this fanfic we hate. " Everyone looked at each other and thought about this.

"Nahh, it's not worth crappy fanfiction to read one erotic story." Matsushita concluded.

"Yeah! Especially about your friends!" Yui nodded

"Then it's decided" Yuri nodded, "Hey wait, we agreed to no erotic stories a long time ago!"

"Well TK doesn't know better, so we can let it slide right?" Ooyama aasked nervously, Yuri sighed and agreed.

Continue operation." she commanded.

**Done~! thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed~! I want to know what your favorite chapter is so far, comment below and let me know~!**


	7. This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

"Well, umm, wow." Takamatsu mumbled. "It looks like, I found a fic, that isn't insulting.

"Is it erotic?" Yuusa asked immediately, everyone looked at her funnily and Yuusa looked away blushing.

"Noo . . ." Takamatsu replied slowly. "It's safe, for the most part, some questionable things here and there, but otherwise, it's safe.

"Define questionable" Yuri insisted as everyone inched their way to the newest fic.

"Well, some of us act a bit out of character." Takamatsu explained. Yuri nodded.

"Soo, it's not that bad right?" Ooyama said hopefully.

"It not being insulting would be a huge plus." Matsushita added.

"Alright then, begin reading Takamatsu." Yuri requested.

"Here it goes." Takamatsu mumbled.

**Beyond the Hell of Salvation**

By: **TheInternetBeginsWithYou!**

"It looks like it could be good, interesting, deep, and meaningful." Otonashi said sarcastically

"No! Just, No!" Yui yelled from across the room as she rocked in a corner, biting her thumb.

"I swear, this better not be another persons' attempt at, I don't even know, whatever the hell that pseudo "deep" scar-fetish-therapy melodramatic soap opera porn shit that last story was!" Hisako snarled from the other corner.

"What happened to not taking these stories seriously you two?" Iwasawa asked calmly from Hisako's side.

"Screw that!" they both yelled.

"Calm down you guys." Takamatsu flicked his glasses. "I made absolute sure this story was not that bad. I'm the one getting the most humiliation out of all of you, if I do say so myself." he squirmed a bit uncomfortably in his chair, sighed and began reading.

**Summary: All of the Angel Beats characters have been reincarnated**

"Because that tends to go SOOOO well." Yuri muttered.

**They eventually remember each other. What seems like the recipe for a fairy tail**

"We're a guild now?" Noda asked.

"WE REMEMBER EACH OTHER MATSUSHITA" TK yelled whoops as the others chat excitedly until Yuri yells at them to shut up.

**quickly turns into a lethal spiral down to the depths of despair.**

""It started with a road trip didn't it?" Naoi asked. Everyone sighed.

**"My life, sucks. It's fucking boring as horse shit.**

"What?" Ooyama let out an exasperated laugh. "I'm sure speak for anyone in saying if the biggest problem of my life was that it was boring, I'd take that in a heart beat over the real horse shit I dealt with in my life. "

"Yup."

"Mhmm"

"Baby Got Back!"

Hell yeah."

"YEAH NYAN!"

"Just let me keep my guitar and voice and I'd be OK."

"Amen!"

"Fuck just let me keep my siblings!"

"LET'S GLOMP ONEE CHAN GUYS SHE'S CRYING!"

"Ooof"

**Oh wait, my therapist, who insists on being called Christ-**

"I went from being an amazing hacker who could even hack the networks of the after life with ease, into a Mexican job-exported IT specialist, into a therapist for whiny unmotivated teenagers. Reincarnation is a bitch."

**Insists that I replace my cuss words with the phrase "titty sprinkles" to not be so offensive.**

"And a bad therapist at that." Fujimaki inserted, The snickers that had begun when Takeyama had become a therapist rose to fits of laughter , with most of the girls just looking at Takeyama funnily.

**My grades are perfect, the teachers say I could go to any high school I wanted, school is too easy.**

"I find it hard to believe anybody who would agree to use the term "titty sprinkles" is that smart. Hell being that smart is just plain impossibre!" Noda objected.

"I beg to differ." Iwasawa responded. "I was told the exact same thing, though, I turned that future down so I could leave that hell hole of a house.". Hisako wrapped an arm around her best friend. They looked at each other and smiled tenderly at each other.

**I dunno what to do with my life. All of the choices sound boring as titty sprinkles."**

"I'm putting money on this being Noda. That would be hilarious!" Fujimaki stated followed by some chuckles.

"Naaah, I'm sure it's this imbicle." Naoi replied thumbing everyone's favorite blue headed teen who smirked.

"Well, you can't call me an imbicle then, since in this story I would be super smart." Naoi face palmed

"Nobody who says titty sprinkles has the right to be considered smart!" he retorted.

**These thoughts ran through the head of Machibachi Tsukasa as she nodded her head that had a purple pixel hair cut, while she used pencils to turn her desk into a set of drums. **

"Shit." Miyuki cussed under her breath as everyone stared toward her direction.

"You mean "Titty sprinkles"?" Shiori asked. Miyuki silently bonked her friend in the head.

**The board in front of the classroom read "Welcome back fucking filthy casuals"**

"Oh lovely." Noda rolled his eyes "The teacher is a MAL elitist."

**Suddenly a teen boy with sexy messy purple hair, swinging his halberd at his side.**

"These people find Noda's hair sexy?" Takamatsu asked. Noda glared at him.

**Appeared in front of Tsukasa with his school blazer slung over his shoulder, bag in non occupied hand, the top and bottom two buttons of his white uniform shirt undone revealing his toned totally sexy ass six pack abs **

Noda gave a chuckle and a prideful grin.

"Someone's a Noda fan" Otonashi mumbled

**"Tsukasa where's my tablet? Couldn't find it at home."**

"Soo, my brother is Noda . . .?" Miyuki asked.

**"Same place as your grades of course, up your ass."**

Miyuki was quickly snatched up into Shiori's arms as her face became more and more of a tomato color

"You bastards dare degrade my best friend with your vile pseudo edgy personality?" she yelled. Yui jumped with kunai in hand she took from Shiina's desk toward the computer, but was stopped by the ninja.

**The boy smirked. "Don't you mean "up my titty sprinkle"? he asked **

Noda threw his head back yelling "Nooo!" as Fujimaki yelled "Yesss" and a roar of laughter errupted from the audience.

**"You don't have tits Kaoru" Tsukasa said with an exasperated tone. "And Thank goodness you don't because you already rage more than a woman PMS-ing at the mall on Black Friday when you're in a good mood."**

"Damn Miyuki, so much edge" Hisako said putting her hands in mid air while Miyuki shrunk her head deeper into the shoulder of her bassist friend.

**Kaoru grunted and found his way to his seat and opened his bag to find his tablet and a bento. Kaoru smiled. Tsukasa had depression which explains why she is always in a sour mood-"**

"If that isn't the biggest load of-" Yuri started.

"Depression doesn't give you any excuse to be a brat to anyone. Sure you get easily irritated, but the depression gives you no right to be full out mean to people." Iwasawa added.

"And what's with the bento? Are they implying Miyuki is a bro-con here?" Noda asked,

"Gross." Miyuki mumbled in Shiori's shoulder.

**"Deep down though she really cares about her family, she just has a hard time keeping positive. I'd do anything to make her smile."**

Miyuki rolled her eyes and Noda scratched his head while many others shook their heads.

"They're trying too hard." Kanade concluded.

**Suddenly a pink loli jumped into the classroom **

Yui glared wearingly at the computer awaiting her character's fate.

**She hopped onto the desk of a girl with silver hair and amber eyes "Yo class president!" she yelled**

"Hooray I can jump around!" Yui yelled," no paralysis."

**The confronted teen crossed her arms "What you you want, obnoxious little girl?" she asked, with a distinct English accent.**

"I am slightly saddened by this, image people seem to have of me being cruel in this dimension" Kanade said, Yuzuru put an arm around his girlfriend.

**"Guess what nyan? My sister who was in a potentially fatal coma after being involved in an a horrible wreck woke up and will be coming to school today, I'm so excited~!" The class president stuck her feet up and took out a tea cup , poured tea from a thermous into it, then sipped it. "Why is this important , or even news? People survive such things all of the time." she took out a croissant and dipped it into the tea. "Meanwhile every three seconds, another person dies, that person could be a child mind you. So why should I be impressed, that one person managed to survive death, temporary might I add."**

""How, charming" Yuusa mumbled

"So, horrible." Kanade mumbled.

**"You're a bitch." the loli replied and walked off the desk to her seat.**

"Well, it's better than thug lyfe Yui" Hinata commented, Yui agreed.

**"Time to jam out to onee san's favorite songs to celebrate!" She pulled out her guitar and began playing a Sad Machine song.**

Iwasawa and Hisako perked up with glittery eyes

"Sad Machine!" they exclaimed. Iwasawa hugged Yui all of a sudden.

"If that's the kind of music you play, I'd be happy to have you as my sister~" she gushed. Hisako snorted.

"Her rhythm sucks, if the time signature is a 4/4 prepare to hear it go from 4/4 to 3/4 to 3/2 in a matter of 3 measures." Yui glared at her senpai who shrugged in a helpless fashion.

"If we're sisters. I'll make sure she learns good rhythm! Especially for Sad Machine songs" Iwasawa promised, Yui let out a little yay and wag of her tail.

**The door flew open and in swooped three rather feminine looking men in school idol uniforms. One had turqouise hair and glasses which he flicked**

"Taka-" Fujimaki began as his breathing got shorter and he kept snorting, around him giggling began "-matsu" aaand half the group lost it, including the kiddies.

"I can't go on" Takamatsu whined as he threw his head in his hands, "Someone take over." he asked, Fujimaki jollily slapped his shoulder and rolled his computer chair to the computer.

**On either side of Takauta Sekai was Karuto Nao, a blue hair lilac eye teen, and Sakabuchi Kyon, a red head red eyed male. **

"Oh great" Hinata said as he face palmed. Otonashi shook his head

**They held hands over Sekai's head. "Gayyyyy" a person in the class commented. The two schol idols had recently confirmed having a steady strong relationship going.**

Both boys, along with Naoi groaned.

**They proceeded to, with their super high pitched voices sing "Torch" by Lia while performing a choreographed dance.**

"Lia's got range." Yui commented. "Even I can't hit a lot of the high notes in "Torch" easily. Imagining guys trying to do that in the original key f the song is borderline horrifying."

"But, Takamatsu as a school idol in a pretty pink dress!" Matushita laughed, "That imagery. And with how dramatic Takamatsu can be, all the more hilarious!" More laughter is heard in the room

"Hey! Hinata and Otonashi are in this too! Stop picking on just me!" Takamatsu argued.

"We all know Hinata is bi" Chaar chuckled with the blue hair teen objecting , "And Otonashi was never really that serious of a person anyway. You're the only serious guy in the group." Takamatsu placed his head back in his hands and groaned more.

**Suddenly a sword flew over the heads of the three idols and out the window, causing Takamatsu to scream like a girl and run off.**

""Humiliating . . ." Takamatsu mumbled as the laughter around him reach it's peak. "But at least my character won't be butchered anymore.

**"You call that music you damn shit taste bafoons?"**

"Here comes the MAL elitist." Noda mumbled.

**The remaining two idols sat in desks, afraid to do more. In came a teen, wearing an open samurai uniform with a katana sword held behind his head.**

"Soo I'm some tough samurai in this story? Well, that's not too bad I guess." Fujimaki stated.

**Honestly! This is a school!" he then got in Kyon's face and yelled "Not a karaoke hooker club for desperate NEET casuals like you.**

"Me? Desperate, please." Otonashi said sarcastically while making circles in the air with his finger..

"Fujimaki, " Noda wearily began, "You spend way too much time on the MAL boards." Fujimaki rolled his eyes.

**The door once again swung open, so hard and fast that it hit the wall. A girl with long violet hair and aqua colored eyes entered.**

**"****Se me hace tarde porque algunos perdedor estacionó su auto de una manera que me hizo incapaz de mover mi propio coche . Corrí a la parada de autobús , y el autobús estaba allí . Me despedí de mis manos frenéticamente , silbado y llegué al autobús puerta pero la señora cerrado la puerta a mí. Así que tuve que caminar todo el camino a la escuela en la lluvia. Esa perra . " Everyone looked at her funnily as she huffed and took her seat.**

"Soo, can anyone translate that?/' Yuusa asked.

"Taquellama probably could." Shiori replied earning her some laughs with Takeyama raising a shaky fist.

**The teacher got in the Spanish speaker's face. "English mother fucker, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!"**

"No in fact, I suck at English too, My Japanese only is any good." Yuri said sarcastically.

**You're the teacher. Shouldn't you encourage cultural awareness ? My name is Tamaguchi Anko for attendance records."**

"Heh, looks like you got pwned Fujimaki." Takamatsu laughed, others giggled too.

**"Yoo, does anyone have a smoke?" Nao asked.**

" I never friggin smoked, why do these peple think I smoke?!" Hinata yelled.

"You have droopy eyes?" Char offered with Hinata giving a heavy sigh.

**Sensei threw Nao a pipe. "Only filthy cheap casuals use cigarettes. True men use cigars."**

"Thanks for driving me closer to lung cancer, Sensei" Hinata said with a grin and a thumb up to Fujimaki who rested his head on his hand and groaned.

**"Whoa, so sensei is the cool kind of sensei who doesn't care about the rules?" the pink hiar loli gasped. "In that case," she began unbuttoning her blazer and dress shirt, revealing her D-cup breasts.**

Most of the girls gawked at the imagery, Yui yelled protest to her action in the story, and Hinata's face exploded in red.

**All of the boys faces turned red and they pumped their fists in the air and whooped**

Yui groaned .

**"You all are not true men!" Sensei yelled. "Just boys who are tall and have hair in weird places. I , though I was born in the same year as you, can control my urges and keep my body pure. I have way more discipline than any of you plebs!" he yelled.**

"You threw a sword out the window out of anger." Matsushita began. "And you claim to be a master of discipline?" there was laughter in the room.

**The door then, for the umpteenth time that day, swung open. "Daaarrrrllliiinnnggg" a well tanned C cup brunette with sharp brown eyes sang as she flew into the room and wrapped her arms around Sensei's arm and her boobs rubbed up against him.**

Fujimaki slowly looked back at the now shaking guitar player . He smirked

"It's , better than the last chapter." Hisako said in a shaky voice.

**The girl looked at Sensei, tears genty fell from her eyes as she smiled. "Darling we did it. I'm pregnant with our child! We have a child on the way!"**

"What were you saying about discipline?" Hinata asked as a fit of laughter errupted in the put his head down, Hisako put her head in her face with Iwasawa comforting her.

**"We have an ultrasound appointment today! Ichigo, Tsukasa, Kaoru, you need to come too." The pink loli and the twins stood up. Anko rose too. "Better than staying here. " she mumbled,following.**

"Uninvited." Yuri mumbled

**The two idols, curious also followed outside.**

"So everyone is going to see my ultrasound, I get , no privacy. "Hisako sighed.

**"What the hell Kyou? We're both still virgins. I was having fun pushing those kids around!"**

"Sadist." Otonashi mumbled.

**"Listen to me." Kyou commanded in a hushed voice. "Charlotte, my best friend was kidnapped. Somebody sent a picture of her gagged and in a cell in the abandoned prison downtown." Kyou took her cell phone out and showed everyone a picutre of a blonde unconscious girl.**

"Ha! My character isn't butchered!" Shiori yelled triumphantly , several sets of glaring eyes pointed at her.

**"Alright then, Let's go save her! I'll be the lead protagonist in this mission" Kaoru yelled.**

"He actually got something right about me." Noda mumbled. "This guy understands me, unlike the other authors."

**They ran towards the prison. As they ran through the streets, Ichigo was being assaulted in the face by her breasts which had made their way out of her bra, since she hadn't closed herself up.**

"Oh my gosh." Hisako said face palming hardly.

"That was, so stupid." Shiina commented.

Yui looked down and shook her head.

**"Ichigo, check yourself before you wreck yourself." Kyou retorted.**

That's the kind of lines I use? Come ON NOW!" Hisako yelled.

**They stopped while Ichigo did this on the side walk in a cute moe fashion.**

"God, please, help these people, help this, story, just, please." Miyuki prayed.

**A bus passed by and Yuri stuck her middle finger at it yelling "biiiitttccchhh."**

"Takamatsu." Yuri said slowly. 'I thought you said this , story was mostly devoid of out of character behaviour. Takamatsu waves his face around, as if considering.

"Some of us are totally out of character, however most of us in this story are just extreme versions of ourselves when we think about it. It may not be what we like, but I think that is all it is, a, slightly offending extreme version of our cast. Before any of you protest! Like I said, there are some exceptions where some of us are completely out of characterPlus, I assure you, you'll be surprised about how this story ends.." Everyone took a moment to absorb this

"Ok, OK. Fujimaki, please continue this, story."

**They got to the prison, and Sensei and Kaoru barged in the front door yelling.**

"We really have no stealth." Noda commented.

**Everyone else, seeing as there was no point in staying secretive, ran in. The girls had their guitars, Anko had a bag full of "Spanish for Dummies" books.**

"Of course."

**The idols bore their bare fists, and Tsukasa had a bag full of text books. Suddenly the power went off. The room was dark. Everyone huddled "What are you guys doing?" a voice asked. "Onee chan!" Ichigo whispered happily, we're here to rescue someone! How'd you find us?" Ichigo asked. "I was on my way to school with all of my paperwork finally done when I saw Anko fipping the bird at the bus,**

"Of course."

"All this dialouge ruins the tension." Otonashi commented.

**"So I got off the bus-" a gun shot was heard in the dark. A few muttered "shits" were heard.**

"This story is getting suspenseful, there's a first. " Ooyama commented.

**Complete darkness, complete silence. Foot steps ripped this silence. They sounded at a constant, medium pace. Then a red light appears, then disappears. Darkness, silence returns heavy breathing. **

**"TSUKASA!"****Kaoru yelled. Tsukasa then felt Kaoru embrace her as a gun sounded. Kaoru gasped, stuttered a bit, then was silent.**

"Whoa!" TK yelled.

"Did they kill Noda?" Fujimaki asked

**"He- He's" Tsukasa breathed, "limp . .. Is this really happening?" More gun shots. "Run!" Kyon yelled. That's what everyone did. They ran in different directions while an unknown number of shooters shot at them. It felt like no one got anywhere because the change of direction of the shooters running caused everyone to keep changing their own direction of running. As Nao kept running he caught a glimpse of Anko, a shot went off and Anko was falling to the ground**

Some people were out of their seats now, very into the story

"That's the end of the chapter." Fujimaki said simply.

"Pull up chapter two!" The group yelled in unison. Fujimaki looked.

"There is no chapter two, just this one.

"Bull shit!" Noda yelled shoving the teen off the chair and looking around, before finally realizing he was right.

The story was discontinued.

"Despite, the insanity, this story looked like it was going to get, good, but there's, no more?" Ooyama asked in disbelief. Everyone looked solemnly at the screen.

Yuri smirked.

There's out proof though, that there are good stories out there! " she yelled. Now someone find us one that is a finished story!" she yelled.

Everyone now, with new found hope, went back to looknigh for stories.

_Soo lovely patient, oh so very patient readers, your patience, has finally been rewarded, or atleast, you will hopefully feel it has been. Between school, work, laziness, and extreme writers block on deciding how to write this chapter, it is finally done, Glory be to God! I do apologize for your wait! Please review, tell me what you think._


	8. Rebirth not Repeat!

**The parody topic everyone has been waiting for sincethis story began~!**

"Wow, this is, offending." Hinata began, "but, in a way that's different than any of the other fics we've read."

"How so?" Yuri asked.

"You, have to read it to believe it." Hinata said as he closed his eyes and shook his head.

"OK, does it at least not contain anything we've already restricted?" Yuri asked

"Actually," Hinata paused, "The story does have everyone in character with no sex . ..It even has progression as a story And it still manages to be offending."This got everyone curious as they rolled to Hinata's area.

"Go ahead." Yuri said cautiously.

**Such Is Life**

"Already sounds like it'll be a cheerful story." Yuusa stated.

"You have no idea." Hinata replied

**By: The YakuzaBattlefrontSniper**

"Now that battlefront name, is badass." Fujimaki declared.

"WE AREN'T A CRIMINAL GANG." Yuri yelled back.

**Summary: Reincarnated, The Battlefront happens to all live in the same city and go to the same middle school.**

"Waaayyy too convenient." said Noda.

"Get ready everyone, it's a reincarnation fic." Hisako warned, everyone braced themselves.

**And this is their story.**

**Yuri woke up and got out of bed to greet another day, as she wondered why she bothered doing so anymore.**

"OK, so I'm apparently suicidal, lovely. Also, I've noticed these reincarnation fics establish that we have the same names that we did in the past, which is not how reincarnation works from what I was taught. Hinata shook his head

"The rabbit hole goes so much deeper." he mumbled.

**She got dressed for school and went downstairs. Halfway down the stairs memories flashed before her eyes. Horrible memories of that day- running upstairs, frantically searching for something worth a lot of money, finding the vase, running back downstairs, dropping the vase, her finger bleeding, and finally the clock with-**

Yuri jumped out of her chair.

"What the fuck IS THIS SHIT?! Just, What the hell?! I thought this was a reincarnation fic, this is shit that already fucking happened! what isthis bull shit?!" Yuri yelled. Hinata continued a combination of nodding and shaking his head.

**Yuri gritted her teeth while holding her head. She then began taking deep breaths, attempting to regain control. Once she did she went to the house's reserved room. A miniature Shinto shrine had been set up with pictures of the three precious siblings Yuri lost that day.**

"Fuck you fanfic, just, fuck you." Yuri said darkly. Tears had begun forming in Yuri's eyes. A moment later Yuri was surrounded by her siblings . Her brother hopped on her lap and hugged her while the other two hugged her from either side.

**After praying for her siblings, Tony, Brittany, and Joy,**

"Errr I don't think Yuri ever told anybody the names of her siblings while we were in the Afterlife, which is what these people I presume know as "Angel Beats." Iwasawa volunteered "However, I seriously wonder what makes these people think they had such, Western names." Yuri shook her head.

**she headed off for school, not feeling like eating . She headed down the street, passing a large plot of land. In the middle of it was an old fashion house. A few years ago there was a story on the news. a home schooled boy named Ayato Naoi lived. His twin brother, a talented pottery prodigy had just died in an accident, and so it had been decided that Ayato would be forced to become the replacement pottery master. Yuri saw the boy spinning clay through an open door in his house, Yuri could see immense emotional turmoil in his eyes **

"Are you serious?!" Ayato yelled angrily. My life didn't change at all?! Even after going through what I did and my soul reaching the epiphany I did, with Otonashi's amazing help, I still ended up in the exact same position I did in the past life with the exact same reaction to it?"

**She then passed the house of a boy named Noda she tutored once a week for some side money. Noda was a total hikikomori. He was completely socially inept. He constantly fought with his mom and his mom always expressed her concern for her son to Yuri..**

"That's, disgusting." Noda said as anger quaked through his body. "There's no way I'd let myself lead that kind of life again!" he yelled.

**After leaving the residential area Yuri entered the city's commercial district She reached a particular intersection which had a ensemble of flowers, teddy bears, and cards, in the center, a single, slightly warned baseball. Next to it was a plaque that read **_**"In loving memory of Hideki Hinata."**_**He died after being hit by a truck. His reaction time slowed by the drugs he had been trying to ween himself off of.**

"I just don't get, why this writer thinks we'd live the exact same life as last time, I just don't get it. I, seriously doubt I would make the same mistakes . . .would I?" Hinata's shaking hands were grabbed suddenly by Yui .

"You won't!" she said cheerfully. "I'll be there to love you and make sure that doesn't happen!If you get anywhere near those nasty drugs when we are reincarnated I will beat the shit out of you so badly you'll be too scared to step foot in another pharmacy. I'll just have to buy all of your condoms an-"

"Yui for fuck sake there are kids in the room." Yuri said sharply. Yui blushed and apologized sheepishly. Hinata put a hand on Yui's head.

"Yui, this is why I love you." he said. Yui cuddled up happily with him as he continued to read.

**Yuri arrived at her school . She walked to the vending machine and purchased a cheese danish.**

"We have those in a Japanese vending machines? That's distasteful. I'd only eat a Danish baked fresh." Kanade commented.

**She then bought a bottle of melon fanta.**

"It's bad enough this fic has done what it had done, now it is forcing me to eat a meal like that?

**Yuri walked up three flights of stairs to the music room which had all of the window curtains drawn and the lights off. The curtains though were transparent enough to let some light in. A student sat next to one of the windows. Her jacket was totally open and her tie was completely undone.**

**"Hey Takahashi," I brought you some breakfast." Yuri said in a monotone.**

"So, not only am I in this, offensive shit, but now I'm going to be forced to eat that weird meal?" Hisako complained.

**"Not hungry." Hisako mumbled sighed and sat next to the girl, placing the food in front of her. **

**"It's not, your fault you know. She, she made that choice herself."**

**"Maybe I could have stopped her, and , got her help . . .She could, have been here today. This could have been a normal day of band practice. If only I didn't take my eyes off her." Hisako's voice was strained and cracked. Her skin was discolored. She's been starving herself ever since her band's vocalist killed herself. "Where did I go wrong?!"**

Hisako's jaw was tight and her hands were in fists in her lap. Iwasawa put an arm around her, bringing them together.

**"Like I said, she did that to herself." Yuri said standing up. "Don't follow in her footsteps Hisako. You've got too much talent and potential so, please eat, stay alive."**

"I'm sure I mentioned this whenever I told anyone that story: After our vocalist died, I swore I'd never pick up another guitar. So, no I didn't have potential." Hisako argued. "Which is why I . . .ended up here."

"You got to perform with everyone here, playing with you, was some of my best memories." Iwasawa smiled. Hisako smirked.

**Yuri left the music room and headed to class. She sat at her desk which was immediately invaded.**

**"So, you wanna go out to the nice restaurant that opened down the rooaadd?"**

**"Miyuki, you have hit on waayy too many guys for me to believe for a second you're into girls." Yuri replied.**

"I'm hitting on, Yuri ." Irie said before putting her face in her hands. "Oh my gosh"

**"It's called being bi Yuri. I gotta try both sides before I decide."**

"No on so many levels."

"Whatever** Miyuki, sheesh button your shirt up, I can see like, half your boobs."**

At that moment Hinata pulled himself and Yui to a side while the computer screen met Miyuki's shoe.

**"B cup" Miyuki replied seductively with a wink and a jiggle**

"Like that's something to brag about." Miyuki huffed.

**Miyuki was then glomped by her best friend Shiori. **

**"There. " Yuri concluded. "Go experiment with her."**

"This fanfic needs to seriously die already." Shiori said flatly.

**"Miyukichi, so like you wouldn't believe how Shigatsu ended!" Shiori began as they lodged into their own conversation. "Those two have no idea how freaking easy they have it. How lucky they are. They're always happy go lucky. I bet they've never known true pain or struggle. I bet everything has been easy for them.**

The two began howling in laughter.

**School went on uneventfully after that. When class ended Yuri left the building and headed to the hospital. As she walked through the hall, she passed a girl in a wheelchair, being driven by her mother. he girl had hair that was an even more ridiculous shade of pink than Yuri's .**

**"Hey mom what do you think happened with Hideki? He promised he'd keep visiting and-" the mom's tight jaw told the whole story.**

"Masami."

"Hmm?"

"May I borrow your guitar to kill this bitch?" Yui was glaring at the screen

"Sorry, I usually don't loan my guitars out to be dirtied by the blood of such horrible bull shit."

**Yuri reached room 408 and knocked on the door before entering. In the room was only a teen girl lying on a bed, completely still . Her hot pink eyes stared at the ceiling. Yuri grabbed a guitar that was leaning on the wall and began tuning it before playing a somber instrumental.**

**"Damn it . . " Yuri thought. "You were so cool and pretty and had so much potential. But your father just had to slam a beer bottle in your head, and ruin it for you, Not only that but, you got apasia of all things.**

Iwasawa raised her hand. Everyone looked at her and she smiled with her eyes closed

"Judging by the name choices before, I'm assuming the writer here is one of Western descent. They believe in Christ, not you Takeyama, and Heaven after death through faith. Reincarnation is probably something that they are as unfamiliar with as we are with Christian teachings. Still they should at LEAST know that reincarnation involves a soul being born again into a new life. They should AT LEAST know that this new life means new circumstances and the new person being surrounded by different people and behavior. THEY SHOULD AT LEAST KNOW THAT REINCARNATION does not throw you into some crazy alternate timeline variant of the life you just lived REINCARNATION DOES NOT FUCKING PUT YOU IN THE SAME FUCKING MISERY THAT YOU JUST BLOODY OVERCAME! IT'S,IT'S A CHANCE TO START ANEW AND NOT GET FUCKED OVER AGAIN!" everyone applauded loudly at this.

**After performing the piece, Yuri sadly put the guitar away and left the room.**

**"I hate this city." Yuri thought. "Everyone gets way too much shit thrown their way. Everyone is given too much pain and misfortune to bear. Are humans destined to suffer like this forever? How could God be such a fucked up God?"**

"Yup, my soul learned nothing from the past life." Yuri sighed.

**As Yuri walked she came face to face with a picture of Ghandi. Yuri pondered this for a minute. "He said "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Yeah, that was him. " she thought. "I didn't think much of the quote at the time, but what change would I want to see in the world? I would want there to be less unjust, or at least be able to see people overcome that unjust. I, don't want to see more people suffer in this hell called life. Soo, what can I do about it?" Yuri asked. "What can I do to fight God's unjust?**

"And the Battlefront was formed with at least half of the members dead, paralyzed or in immense despair!" Ooyama said throwing his hands in the air.

**Yuri continued to walk and suddenly heard a voice.**

**"Hey Yuzuru, I really want to go to Akihabara." a girl , aged ten or so said.**

**"Hatsune I swear I'll take you there the first day you get out of this hospital, we just have to wait for a kidney donor match." the boy replied**

"I really hope I don't go through that waiting game again in my next life." Hatsune grumbled. Yuzuru collected her into his arms and whispered to her "You won't, I promise.

**Yuri's eyes widened. She was at lost at first, of what to do, but it quickly became obvious what she needed to do.**

**"Excuse me." she said entering the room. "I'd like to be tested to see if I could be a match."**

**She needed to change the world, so it'd be a little less fucked up.**

**The End**

"" Well now . . ." Matsushita breathed.

"That fic had a , moral." Takeyama continued.

"Ambiguous ending though . . .God demands a proper ending!" Naoi yelled.

"Well, let's just assume the best ending!" Otonashi replied. "That seems to be what the story was setting up to go for anyway." Yuri nodded.

"However . . ." the leader began " There was WWWWWAAAAYYY too much bull shit building up to that so, a little less bull shit in the future please?"

Everyone agreed, and headed back for more searching.

Hope you all enjoyed~! Comment below share your thoughts on this~! Thank you for reading and supporting this project~! It's a pleasure to write~!


End file.
